The “should be” shower technique

The “should be” shower technique





Do you ever get overwhelmed by all the expectations? The should be… could be… need to be…? I might have the perfect strategy for you.

In walking my talk, I admit the expectations of others were something I fell prey to when first starting Iconic Details. On a daily basis I was bombarded with “Ashley, you should…” “Ashley, why don’t you…” or “Ashley, you need to…” Holy Chic! By the end of the day I was drowning in all the expectations, opinions and friendly suggestions of those around me. It was never meant maliciously but never the less it was overwhelming and caused me a great deal of anxiety. By the time I got home from my day, it was hard to even remember my own name let alone the unique perspective I wanted to bring to my industry. Thus, the should-be shower came to be.

The shower is my sanctuary. A place I can go to reflect, have an epiphany and just unwind. Maybe its from being a swimmer for so many years but a hot shower always seems to be my place for relaxation and clarity.

Here’s how a “Should-be Shower” works: take a hot shower, allow all the should be…, could be…, need to be… thoughts wash away. Allow yourself to reflect on each thought but in a reviving way not a daunting way. Once you have washed all the expectations away, step out with clarity, confidence and perspective. If your mind still has lingering expectations, turn around and step into the cold shower. This should wake you right up!

The expectations, opinions and suggestions of others can hold you down. You are exactly who the world needs. Your approach, your perspective, your skills and your abilities are exactly what someone else is looking for, you just have to find them.

The hardest part of being authentic is committing to yourself and knowing you are enough. It’s too easy to cave to the ebbs and flows of our environment. Even this blog is technically a “hey, you should try this!” My point is, cut your hair if it feels right to you. Be opinionated in situations you might otherwise hold your tongue. Feel confident in your own skills and abilities. Set boundaries to respect those around you not limit them.

My work in helping others own their presence begins with their style. This may or may not resonate with you.   However, I do hope this technique helps you discover, identify, strategize and style your unique persona.

Persona Stylist, Ashley Roda

Marianne Roda
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